Monday, February 21, 2011

That feeling when you would like to strangle someone..

That happens alot as an Army wife. Some people think that just because you are married to the Army that you want to hear their opinion on the wars, government, military, and any conspiracy theory out there. They also think that because your husband is a soldier that gives them the right to criticize him for the job that he does. It irks me that the thought has never occurred to them that SOMEONE has to do the job, and my husband stepped up to the challenge. If it doesnt suit them, they should just say thank you and leave it at that. That rarely happens, so I thought Id post about some common misconceptions people have and get those cleared up. *Warning this could be a long post*

*No we dont get paid to make babies. My husband is going to make the same amount whether we have 1 kid or 12. I assume military have more than one usually because of the health care and other little perks that are obscure and hard to find out about. Its also a steady paycheck and their jobs are usually secure unless they screw up real bad.

*"You knew what you were getting into when you married him."
Yes in a way I did and am I supposed to say sorry that I fell in love with a soldier? I think I wouldve loved him if he worked at Taco Bell also but he happened to shoot higher than that.

*"Such and such place is more dangerous so at least hes not there."
Umm, sorry to break it to you but he goes out on missions at least once daily and theyre all dangerous regardless of the place. The taliban doesnt just hang out in one particular area.

*"My S/O goes out of town on vacation/business trips etc so I know how you feel."
No sorry you dont. Your s/o isnt going to be away an entire year, wait in line for hours just to make a 20 minute call on a shitty connection, or go out on missions where you basically just wait because no news is good news. I also dont think theres a big IED problem anywhere your boyfriend is going.

*"Im tired of my tax dollars paying your husband to sit around over there."
Hes doing alot of things there and sitting isnt usually one of them.

*"Is your husband deployed? Oh Im sorry, that sucks."
Yeah it does suck but to be honest I think he looks uber sexy in all of his gear and even though I wish he could be home this is our life and Im happy with it.

*"At least he'll be home soon."
Our points of view on what "soon" means is very different I see. Soon to me is 2 months and we still have 6 to go. And even when he is home he is still gone. Alot. His work day isnt usually shorter than 12 hours 5 days a week. He also goes out into the field to train overnight, or for a week at a time multiple times a year. Theres also JRTC which is a month of training in a totally different state. Not to mention there are schools that help advance his career that he needs to do eventually, and theres been talk of Ranger school and if he decides that he wants to do it Ill support him being gone another 2 months just for that. He can also be called in on weekends if someone feels like it. Hes a soldier 24/7/365.

Ok I think Im done. If you have said any of these things to me dont take offense. Its mostly the random people that get in my business that irk me the most. Those people never say thank you or that they appreciate everything we all do. Little things like that make a huge difference.


  1. My husband was an army brat as a kid and he has mentioned a lot of your points that you made in this post. Talking to his mom about being an army wife, she said she wouldn't change it for the world. She was alone a lot of the time (including during being pregnant with my husband) and they were so broke at Christmas that her soldier husband had to sell his blood to get presents for my husband and sister in law but that was their lifestyle. She always says that the good far outweighed the bad. The kids got to live in Germany, see castles and historic sites and experience a different culture. When her husband was home, sometimes they would take a weekend trip to France or other cities in Germany. They moved to Maryland where they got to see the ocean and make new friends. My husband talks about how much he loved going fishing in the Chesapeake Bay with his dad when he was home. My husband went to school on base and they lived in teeny tiny military housing. When the army said "time to move" they packed up and moved wherever they were told to go. My mother in law collects thimbles from all of the places she goes because as an army wife who travels with her husband, she had to be careful of what she chose to bring with her everywhere. When they talk about their life in the army, they have nothing but fun, wonderful stories to tell. Sure, they missed their dad/husband and life wasn't always perfect but no one has a perfect life. Your husband is a hero and I'm sure that he often looks upon you as his hero too! When your soldier comes home, you can give him a big hug and thank you from me! xoxo

  2. Thanks Brittany it means alot to me! Sounds like you've heard it all before haha. This is our first duty station so we havent gotten to travel but its inevitable. Id LOVE for him to be PCS'd to Germany. I think it would be fabulous to take weekend train trips all over Europe. I dont know if we'll ever get to go there, but where ever we go will be an adventure and something I wouldnt have experienced otherwise. We just bought our house here so we arent in a hurry necessarily. Our mortgage is cheaper than renting a 3 br house. But moving is apart of this life and we'll deal when its time.

  3. Well, I've never experienced the army life for myself but from all accounts, it can be pretty fantastic, especially if you get to travel! One thing that my husband and in-laws tell me is that if you move abroad, it will RUIN you on food!! Living in Germany has caused my husband to be a beer, chocolate and sausage snob! *lol* Luckily, we do have a lot of import grocery stores in St Louis so I can find all of his childhood favorites. I have a very deep admiration for you army wives. While the soldiers are supporting the nation, the wives are supporting the soldiers. My mother in law was in her early 20's when she loaded up her babies and boarded military transport to Germany all by herself! I can't imagine how scary and exciting that was for her. Of course, when you move, the military takes their sweet time shipping your belongings so they always had about 6 weeks of eating off paper plates and sleeping on the floor until their things arrived! :) Those first few weeks in new housing meant family slumber party time- which they loved. Military families really do know how to make the very best of difficult times! :)

  4. Ugh I can only imagine how long it takes them to get the household moved overseas but at least it is paid for by the Army. Thats a plus when moving. When you have lil ones though there are just some things you NEED but back then they didnt have all the things we do for our babies. A few months before my hubs deployed they packed their cold weather gear up and shipped them off so that they would get there when they did.. winter came and their cold weather bags didnt. Finally they told them they were "lost". So his unit had nothing for the winter and it gets just as cold there. They were freezing because they arent allowed to wear anything thats not issued.

  5. Some people do support the troops, it's just that some of the people who make rude comments are the ones who open their mouths! I appreciate your husband and will keep you all in my prayers!

  6. Oh my... I remember those days!!! I married a Marine (now a disable combat veteran) and everyone had their own opinion. Some believed I became an 'automatic' US citizen just by being married to him; others believed he was making big $$$$$ when in reality one Christmas we got our girls' presents from our Church; and the list is loooong.

    Anyway, hang in there, I loved that time in the Military even when my husband was in the field training 3 weeks each month. I made good friends and have no regrets.

    Thank You for taking care of your brave soldier they really need the family support so much. ;)

  7. Cachanilla - I dont mind people having their own opinions, everyones entitled to that but I dont want to hear it haha. Just because this n that isnt going to change the fact that hes deployed now, was deployed twice before and will continue to deploy in the future. They act like if I say the wars are bad itll all suddenly go away. *rolls eyes* But Im sure you know. For what they do, they dont get paid nearly enough and it enrages me that they talk about cutting their pay raises but congress never seems to cut theirs. Every government job is important but troops are the backbone and without them things would go to shit quick, fast and in a hurry. My husband has sold plasma to get us extra cash we needed because I was pregnant and couldnt. We are alright now but theres always tough times, especially with one income and kids. I also hate when people assume he gets to call home for free. Its like all the extra combat and separation pay goes to calling cards etc. Its like a different world that a majority of people dont get ha.

  8. People are so ignorant. You and your husband are both warriors in my book and I have immense respect for you both. And to the people that say their tired of their tax dollars blah blah. News flash! It's not like he wants to be overseas away from his wife and family. It's not like the DOD was all..hey soldier what do you think we should spend all this taxpayer money on? And he was all...well I'd really love to leave my family behind, miss milestones for my kids and be in danger constantly. That would be awesome. Thanks!

    Freaking idiots! I give you permission to punch them in the head.

  9. Anastasia mostly I just say my husband is protecting your right to being an idiot and move on haha. But when they say "its his fault if he gets hurt over there for reenlisting" then I say and its your fault if you lose a couple teeth right now.